We Run for Ourselves: Learning to Choose Healing
- info902562
- Jun 1
- 2 min read
One of the hardest things I have ever watched survivors do is learn how to choose themselves.
That may sound strange to someone who has never lived through an abusive relationship, but survivors understand exactly what I mean.
When you've spent months or years trying to keep someone else happy, trying to avoid arguments, trying to protect your children, trying to manage another person's anger, and trying to survive whatever each day may bring, you get used to putting yourself last.
In fact, many survivors become so focused on survival that they stop thinking about themselves altogether.
Their dreams get put on hold.
Their goals get put on hold.
Their health gets put on hold.
Sometimes even their identity gets put on hold.
Everything becomes about making it through today and worrying about tomorrow later.
Over the years, I have talked to thousands of survivors, and one thing I hear over and over again is that leaving was not the moment their healing began.
Most people think the story ends when someone leaves an abusive relationship.
Survivors know better.
Leaving is often where the real work begins.
Suddenly there are questions about where to live, how to support yourself, how to rebuild your confidence, how to trust people again, and sometimes how to figure out who you are after years of being told who you were supposed to be.
Healing is not a straight line.
It is messy.
It is frustrating.
It is beautiful.
And sometimes it happens in ways that are so small you almost miss them.
I've seen survivors celebrate getting their first apartment.
I've seen survivors go back to school after believing for years they weren't smart enough.
I've seen survivors get their driver's license, open their own bank account, start businesses, graduate college, and build lives they once believed were impossible.
Those moments may not make headlines, but they matter.
They matter because every one of them represents a survivor choosing themselves.
And honestly, I think that's one of the reasons Run4Her means so much to so many people.
Not everyone participates because they're walking for someone else.
Some people participate because they're finally celebrating how far they've come.
They're walking for the woman they used to be.
They're walking for the woman they're becoming.
They're walking because they survived something that should have broken them and they refused to stay down.
This year, I hope survivors give themselves permission to do something that many of them struggle with.
I hope they give themselves permission to be proud.
Proud of the healing.
Proud of the progress.
Proud of the courage it took to leave.
Proud of the strength it takes to keep moving forward.
Because if there is one thing I have learned from survivors over the years, it is this:
Healing deserves to be celebrated.
Not just the big victories.
Not just the finish line.
Every step along the way.
And if you're participating in Run4Her this year for yourself, I want you to know something.
There is nothing selfish about that.
You have fought hard for the life you're building.
You have earned the right to celebrate it.
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